Friday, September 3, 2010

If it Makes you Happy

Recently a friend and I were discussing relationships and having both come into our own and learned a few things over the years we of course have them all figured out. Long pause.....yeah right. But that is besides the point. I think this part we actually have a pretty good handle on. We talked about how often people get into relationships expecting the other person to “make them happy”. Or they think that “if only I am with that person I will be happy”. We concluded that really isn’t the case and it really isn’t the other person’s job to “make you happy”. I firmly believe that it is my responsibility to figure out what makes me happy so I can then communicate it to you and hopefully you will do what you can to facilitate that and vice versa. Because if I don’t even know what makes me happy, how the heck are you supposed to know? And vice versa. Here’s an example. Jane likes ice cream but she isn’t sure which flavor makes her happy but she starts dating Joe and unconsciously expects him to know what flavor makes her happy. And when he gets it for her they will live happily ever after. Do you see how ridiculous that is? I mean seriously, how is Joe supposed to know which flavor will be Jane’s favorite? He could spend weeks trying to figure that out, even years. There are 32 flavors at Baskin Robbins alone and don’t even get me started on gelato and sorbet and Haagen Daaz. So here’s my thought. Why doesn’t Jane take the time to try all the flavors and figure out for herself which one is her favorite? “Hey this cookie dough is pretty good and I like it and it makes me happy”. “MMMmmm, wow I have never tasted chocolate like that before”. You see my point? I hope so. Cause half the fun in life is figuring that stuff out, as scary and confusing as it can sometimes be. But it’s also very rewarding when you know what you like and what you want and you can communicate that to another human being and if he likes you back, he will probably do his best to take those tidbits and run with them. I have a hunch that would make Jane happy too. The beauty of it, is you can change over time. Chocolate doesn’t have to be the be all, end all of your personal favorites. Maybe Jane and Joe try Lavender Vanilla one night and lo and behold, she has a new favorite. Well that’s ok too. That is the joy in growing and changing. And for the record my favorite is Black Cherry gelato, with Vanilla Bean running a very close second.

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